The Vietnamese Engagement Ceremony Update 2024

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The Vietnamese engagement ceremony is a crucial ritual that precedes the wedding ceremony.

Traditionally, weddings were arranged by the groom’s and bride’s families, and children did not meet until the engagement day.

The ancient engagement ceremony was more important than the wedding since it was when both families formally verified their connection and publicly announced their approval and acceptance for their children’s marriage.

It often occurs at least a year before the wedding. Nowadays, it is conducted one day or one month before the wedding ceremony and has become less prominent or even obsolete in some areas.

Vietnam tour operators will supply information on the Vietnamese engagement ceremony in this article:

Before the Vietnamese engagement ceremony

The fiancé’s family will arrange gifts on trays to deliver to the fiancée’s family. The number of trays is usually 3, 5, 7, 9, or 11, depending on the fiancé’s family’s situation.

Respectively, such a large number of unmarried lads will accept the obligation of passing on these presents.

The gifts include a tray of betel leaves and areca nuts, a tray of husband-wife cakes (also known as banh pho in Vietnamese), a tray of wine, a tray of tea, a tray of pig’s head or roasted pig, a tray of fruits, a tray of tobaccos, and possibly a tray of beer or other drinks or a tray of green rice flake cakes or pies.

Fruit tray at Vietnamese engagement ceremony

These trays are protected with a crimson towel embroidered with a sign of double delight.

During the Vietnamese engagement ceremony

At the appropriate moment, the fiancé’s family begins to accompany a group led by a high-ranking position representative, the older of family, relatives, neighbors, and acquaintances.

Using any mode of transportation, such as a vehicle, motorcycle, trishaw, or even strolling, the boy’s family must halt around 100 meters away from the girl’s house, form teams, and deliver presents to the girl’s house.

The young and unmarried lads bore the gifts, which will be received by the equivalent girls in the fiancée’s family.

Previously, they all donned red long gowns to symbolize excitement and happiness.

Boys now wear a white shirt with black pants or jeans and, if applicable, a red tie, while females wear red ao dai. Southern Vietnamese boys increasingly wear blue at their engagement ceremonies.

The fiancé’s team will be invited to sit in the designated seats before two representatives from each families give their speeches establishing the link between the two families and their children’s marriage, exchanging presents, and discussing the wedding ceremony.

Previously, the girl’s family would typically treat the boy’s team to a delightful tea break that included plates of pastries, betel and areca nuts, tobaccos, melon seeds, or sunflower seeds, and cups of hot tea.

The bride and groom wear traditional red ao dai

Now, they may invite the fiancé’s team to a wonderful feast.

The fiancée wears an excellent traditional crimson ao dai and must remain in her chamber until the fiancé arrives or her parents request that she go out.

Following that, the young couples will pay their respects at the girl’s family altar to obtain the witness of their ancestors.

The presents are placed on the altar. Also, in front of everyone in both families, the fiancé presents the fiancée with the engagement ring.

After the Vietnamese engagement ceremony

After the rites are completed, it is recommended that a small portion of the presents be returned to the fiancé’s family for luck.

When splitting the gifts, areca nuts must be sliced by hand, not with a knife. The number of betels, areca nuts, and cakes is split into even numbers beginning with four and increasing.

When the fiance family receives returned presents, they should not hide the traps.

The remaining presents will be handed to the fiancée’s family’s relatives, friends, and neighbors to announce that their kid will have a new family.

It’s a good idea to provide an engagement card or even a wedding card with the wedding date, time, and location together with these presents to encourage them to join in and enjoy the joy with the family.